Mini Chocolate Chip Banana Cake Food Pr0n!

Some of you may have already stumbled on my recipes page over at EdHeller.com. For those who haven't, you're totally missing out on my mom's banana cake recipe. 

Today, I kicked the recipe up a bit with some extra chocolate chips (I used an additional cup of dark chocolate chips) and I use both chopped walnuts and pecans. This time, instead of the traditional bundt cake pan, I used two large muffin pans that I had buttered and crusted with finely chopped pecans. I couldn't find ground pecans at the grocery store, but the chopped pecans gave the cakes a more substantial outer crust and they came out of the pans with ease. 

Baking time, about 35 minutes @ 350 degrees F

Here's some food porn: 

Monthly Special at Kuma's Corner - COFFINS

As some of you are aware, a popular Chicago burger joint called Kuma's Corner has continued their "whenever the heck we feel like doing it" tradition of monthly burger specials named after heavy metal bands into 2012.

This month's special is : COFFINS
A sample of Coffins music can be found here.
A Japanese death/doom metal band, they kinda sound like
someone dropped all the pots and pans from your kitchen
onto the floor of a chainsaw testing factory where you can hear the nearby trees screaming of the coming apocalypse. (If you are in the band, Coffins, please consider this to be the compliment that it is.)

The burger tastes nothing like that analogy.

This burger is topped with a messy combo of teriyaki shitake mushrooms, fresh jalapeños, sweet & sour pork and toasted sesame seeds, which makes it a bit of a savory, salty, heat bomb. If you've had other spicy burgers from Kuma's, it doesn't quite reach "Plaguebringer" heat, but will definitely get you sweating.

DANG TASTY!
This is what it looked like before I devoured it. This was a TWO NAPKIN burger.

A Helpful Trick to Cut Down on Telemarketers & Phone-Scammers

If you have a phone (who doesn't),
you probably get phone spam, phone scam, telemarketing, wrong number collection calls,
and any number of other annoying unsolicited calls from people who should not be calling you.

You registered on that DO-NOT-CALL list, didn't you?
You pay most of your bills on time, right? (righhht?)
WHY THE HECK ARE THEY BOTHERING YOU DURING IRON CHEF?!?!?
Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy?!?!??

Well, mostly because all of our numbers got sold by companies we do business with, who have less than decent ethics about that sort of thing. Privacy Notice? YEAH RIGHT! Well, other than changing your number and making it unlisted, or flat-out cancelling your phone bill, there's not a whole lot we can do about it, short of a class action lawsuit.

Putting your justified rage aside for a moment, let's assume that you just want to make the darn calls stop.
I don't have a perfect solution for you, but I do have a little trick that might get rid of a good number of those calls.

Right-Click and Download this audio file: wrongnumber.wav

It's the 'wrong number' tone that you may be familiar with if you accidentally dial a disconnected number.

An auto-dialing computer will remove a "disconnected" number from its phone list if it hears the "wrong number" tone, and lucky you... these are the machines that most of these wonderful people use to harass us continuously.

So, here's what you do:

Have that audio file you just downloaded open and ready to play on your computer

or just use the audio player below (if it shows up in your browser).

When a phone number comes up on your caller-id that you recognize as one of your phone-spammers,

pick up the phone before the 3rd ring and play the "wrong number" audio into the phone, several times in a row if you want, and then hang up.

If they ever call back, just play the "wrong number" tone again.

It won't work every time, but it should cut down on the calls significantly.

This won't solve the problem overnight. It could take weeks or longer until you see results.

One year the calls were so bad that I put the tone on the front end of my outgoing voicemail message.
That way, my voicemail did all the work for me when I wasn't home, and when I was home, I could pick up the phone if I recognized the number, or let it go to voicemail if I didn't.
The phone-spammer calls were almost completely eliminated. Of course, the one drawback to doing this is that some of your friends and family (and occasionally a legitimate creditor) think your phone number is disconnected if they don't listen past the tone.

If you try it, please let me know and let me know how it worked out for you.

Chocolate Fudge Food Porn - WITH VIDEO!

This year I managed to check my candy thermometer for accuracy with a pot of boiling water before I tried to make fudge with it. This turns out to be the key to making a successful batch of old school traditional fudge. :-) Follow Alton Brown's fudge recipe, get your fudge up to 234-236 degrees, then wait for-freaking-EVER for the fudge to cool down to 110 degrees before stirring until both arms fall off.

If you happen to have one of those Cheese Knives from thecheeseknife.com , you can cut thru fudge like butter!

Here's a video and a few pictures:

"Yule Log" for Chocolate Lovers

Chocolate Fudge Food Pr0N!

Buy things that have cheeseburgers on them!

Buy things that have cheeseburgers on them!

http://www.cafepress.com/vcheeseburger

Post Thanksgiving Food Porn

A Bit 'O Good 'Ol Food Pr0n: Please enjoy.

Before Thanksgiving, I made a crock-pot beef chuck roast with carrots, pearl onions, celery, crushed tomatoes, small potatoes, and some seasonings.

Here, it is served on a few sourdough roll "trenchers" to soak up the gravy.

Leftover beef gravy from this dish was later added along with some red wine to some caramelized onions and mushrooms that I reduced down to make a "french onion soup" style filling/jam for a thanksgiving appetizer. (not pictured). I will post photos when I make a followup batch that's prettier than the ones I made.

Below, my Super Sage Stuffing, now a family favorite!
Make it at home! http://edheller.com/superstuffing.htm

Dark Chocolate Pecan Pie with Citrus Vodka Crust.
Search google or food.com for a vodka pie dough recipe, but use citrus vodka.
I used a vodka which I had been soaking mandarin and lime zest in for a few months.
The citrus vodka dough would probably work even better in a lemon merengue or key lime pie.

Use your favorite pecan pie recipe,
but put dark chocolate chips in the bottom before you cover the bottom with pecans,
then pour in the pie filling and bake. If your pie hasn't set after 50 minutes (it can still be wobbly in the middle),
cover the pie loosely with foil and continue baking for another 10-15 minutes.

UPDATE: 11-30-2011 - This French Onion Filling/Jam I made is turning out to be pretty versatile.

Above - French onion jam on a wedge of corn bread with mozzarella and provolone.
Below - French onion jam hot dog with yellow mustard and sriracha hot sauce,
served on a provolone and cheddar toasted poppy seed bun
with a side of taco-flavored corn chips.

Dear NBA Players and Owners (rant)

Dear NBA players and owners:
F*** YOU!
Thousands and thousands of people that your industry would have directly or indirectly employed are left suffering, while you fight over the billions of dollars that you wouldn't be making if it weren't for us.
Don't bother coming back. We're over you.
We've got hockey and football and baseball.
We don't need you any more.
Besides, you'll never top Michael Jordan's years with the Chicago Bulls.

p.s. - Suck it , Lebron.

Long Overdue Food Porn

Hot Doug's GAME OF THE WEEK - top left
(Apple, Pear and Port Elk Sausage with Cherry-Fig Mustard and Caramelized Onion Marmalade Cheddar Cheese) ,
French fries (non-duckfat version),
and a Char-grilled Thuringer (aka The Norm Crosby - formerly the Marty Allen and the Don Rickles)
with mustard and sport peppers - bottom right.

 Kuma's Corner Green Flash Double Stout Black Ale, above;
below, an insanely good, brief revival of the Dark Throne burger
(Chipotle Peppers, Goat Cheese, Fresh Pico de Gallo) and a very welcome pile of fresh hand-cut french fries!
The Dark Throne was a weekend special, which I truly hope they bring back to the menu full-time.
If you're familiar with the burgers at Kuma's, in heat level, it falls somewhere below Plague Bringer, but at the same level or above the Pantera Burger (Roasted Poblano Pepper, Bacon, Chedder and Monterey Jack, House made Ranchero Sauce, Tortilla Strips, not pictured).

Speaking of the Plague Bringer...
(Roasted Garlic Mayo, Tortilla Strips, House Made Hot Sauce, Fresh Garlic, Pepper Jack, Sliced Jalapenos)

Square Bar in Chicago has a respectable burger and some tasty beer-battered onion rings.

The Big Square burger with fries (sweet potato fries are also an option)
(grilled onions, bacon, cheddar cheese, lettuce, tomato and chili garlic sauce)

beer-battered onion rings with a side of chili-garlic sauce

Most of my deep dish pizza food porn will be published at my new site, RealDeepDish.com,
but I figured, as long as I'm posting food porn...


Spinach and Garlic with Italian Sausage.


Sorpressata, Pepperoni, and Italian Sausage.